Scarlet
by Ann Valentine
Summary: As we grow up, even the brightest dreams are extinguished. (Percy POV)


Scarlet 

_Can you still see your dreams in the distant, starry sky?_  
_Are they more vivid than they were when you were little?_

I remember when I was a kid, I used to pretend that I was the Minister of Magic and that everybody loved me. No one was allowed to make fun of me or leave me out when they were playing, and if anybody made the Minister of Magic cry, then they had to sit in a corner for a week and they had all of their toys taken away. 

I was a moron when I was younger. 

_When one forgets to put the emotions that overflow in her heart_  
_to rest, they burn the color of passion._

Now, I have more realistic dreams. I know I'll never make it as the Minister of Magic. People want someone who will strap the blinders on for them and hide the realities of the nasty world from them. People want someone who looks good and says all the right things. That's definitely not me. _I_ wouldn't even choose me as Minister. 

I think it says something when you get a vote of no confidence from yourself. 

_I used to believe without a doubt that I could reach my dreams, no matter how far off they were._  
_But that me from long ago now sleeps inside my heart._

Mum told me that I could do anything I wanted when I was a big boy, and I believed her. She told me that the sky was the limit; that nothing was out of my reach as long as I had faith in myself. 

Unfortunately, Mum neglected to mention the important stuff-like the fact that people don't care about how much faith you have, they care about how many friends you have or how much money is in your bank account. No one _cares_ if your mommy told you that the sky's the limit. They care if you look good, talk the talk, and walk the walk. 

No one _cares_ about what's inside. No one can see what's inside, and if they can't see it, they don't believe it. 

_Dreams are more fragile and fleeting than a glass rose,_  
_so then why are we destined to dream?_

Mum doesn't know that I gave up on my dream. She still thinks the one desire in my soul is to be the Minister of Magic. That's what my whole family thinks-that I have that single dream and that's why I'm so quiet and always working in my room. 

My dream was shattered a long time ago. 

I stay in my room all the time so I don't have to look into their eyes. It kills me every time I look into any of their eyes and see those dreams shining so brightly, and it kills me to know that they all might end up like me. 

_Sometimes two dreams can turn into love,_  
_but there are also times when they can't._

One time, I thought I could make it, I really did. I tried my hardest and studied all I could and worked myself to the bone to prove that I was the best. But all of my studying didn't prove a thing. No matter how hard I tried, someone else was always _better_, because they were funnier, or more athletic, or prettier. No one cared about _smarts_. 

_Even when they're alone, people want to share their feelings, but it can be so hard._  
_Words are powerless to express one's feelings, and sometimes they become a silver knife._

That was when I realized my dream was worthless. It wasn't a gradual breakdown. I just woke up one morning and suddenly it was so clear. 

There was no _point_. I was _empty_. I had an impossible dream, one that nothing could ever make true. I could work until I died, and nothing would ever change. 

_I used to believe without a doubt that I could reach my dreams, no matter how far off they were._

So, I stopped. 

I didn't stop working, I didn't stop trying. I just stopped dreaming. Every day, I woke up, I struggled with life, and I went to bed wondering when it would all end. 

_But that me from long ago now sleeps inside my heart._

Mum doesn't know. Dad doesn't know. No one knows. No one has time in their busy lives to stop and fix a broken dream. 

It's okay, though. I don't mind, really. What's one dream in the midst of millions? 

.la fin. 

Disclaimer: "Scarlet" is the opening theme for _Ayashi no Ceres_, and belongs to whoever owns that. Percy belongs to J.K. Rowling and Scholastic. 

Review, please! 


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